This is a typical conversation I might have with my mother (I speak first):

"Bitch."

"Slut."

"Barmaid."

"Barmaid's evil spawn."

"Cow."

"Moooo."

*makes finger-gun* "BANG!"

"Thank you."




We love each other really.
Come home from my CPR-C & AED course, turn on the TV, what's the first thing I see? Someone doing CPR. Incorrectly.

AHAHAHA! The irony is delicious.

*sigh* I am SOOO tired. All the kneeling, and the chest compressions. But I got to play with a defibrillator. That was pretty cool. And I passed, which is also good, because it would suck to have to pay (again) to take it (again).

Also my ex-boyfriend had a baby. Well, not him. Obviously. His wife did the actual having of the baby. Me and the Muse went up to the hospital to say hi. He's a nice guy and I've known him since dinosaurs roamed the earth, so it was only somewhat awkward. And by somewhat I mean excruciatingly.

When someone tells you that for the rest of their lives, they would leave whoever they were with for a chance to be with you...and they've already done it once...and you broke their heart into itty-bitty pieces...like three times... Hi, guilt! Will you be staying long? What's that? Forever, you say? Yeah.

Wroted a li'l fic yesterday; if I don't fall asleep I will beta and post it tonight.

*smishes you all*
mass_hipgnosis: (Default)
( May. 11th, 2008 06:12 am)
Y'all, they left me in charge again. I got in to work expecting to, uh, work. That is apparently entirely unreasonable. Instead I am a glorified babysitter for 2 teams whose ACTUAL supervisors are out sick and in meetings, respectively. So here I am with none of the logins I need to do MY job, much less a job I am not sufficiently trained for. My boss called it a trial by fire. I told him I have pyrophobia. He laughed, and here I am anyway...

Ah, corporate America. You amuse me so. Never change.
mass_hipgnosis: (OMG)
( Mar. 6th, 2008 10:34 pm)
For the last week and a half, I have been getting paid to do nothing. Quite literally. My computer logins have been disabled, and corporate has not managed to get around to fixing them, what with the Suncom merger. So I come in to work, and I answer questions from new agents. Most of whom don't have questions, but they're new, which means I have to stand there IN CASE they have questions. For eight hours. At $11.25 an hour plus an 11% shift differential. Plus bonuses.

*sarcastic applause* You go, T-Mobile. Well played all around.

P.S. Getting paid to do nothing is not actually as appealing as it sounds.

...and some random things that make me less homicidal happy.

I hate FlexPay! I hate it SO SO MUCH!!!! I swear the marketing meeting went like this:

Robert Dotson (CEO, T-Mobile USA): Let's make it so customers who have bad credit or don't want a contract can still have nationwide rate plans and cheap phones.

Marketing Team: Great idea! Quality work, Bobby! Um...how do we do that?

RD: We bill them for the service a month in advance, instead of them having to pay a deposit. And they can have another account for overages that they can top up with prepaid cards, so that they can't rack up overage that they don't have the money for.

MT: Awesome! Let's get it in a test market right away!

RD: No, let's not bother. We'll just test it on a national level without retraining our reps, put all kinds of restrictions in the fine print, and add some nonnegotiable additional fees that are impossible to justify to the customer.

MT: WTF? O-kayyyyy...why?

RD: To see if we can make a rep's head explode!

MT: *facepalm*

RD: It''ll be funny!

MT: *headdesk*

This is why Robert Dotson sucks.

In other news, I have found a site that I love. You all totally have to check out the most awesomesauce HTML tutorial EVER!

See that? See the way that pretty link opened in a seperate window and everything? *is so proud of herself* I totally understand how it works now and I love, LOVE this site! I want to marry it and have its' flawlessly formatted children.

Ok, that might be going a little far.

So it's my first day back after my leave of abscence. They're retraining me.

Yeah.

At first I was all, WTF? A monkey could do this job. Do you seriously think I forgot everything I learned over the past 2 years in 3 months? It was kind of insulting. But then I thought about it. I decided if they want to pay me to sit in a classroom for 2 weeks and 'learn' stuff I alredy know, I'm cool with that. And then if they want to put me in Production Academy for another 2 weeks where I can be in the 'baby queue' that only gets easy calls, and have extra supervisor bitchez to answer my questions and fetch me things (they're not actually there to fetch me things, but that doesn't stop me from sending them out for Starbucks), I'm cool with that too. It's a ridiculous waste of money, but hey-it's their money.

Well, y'know, until they give it to me.
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