Also, the other night I watched New York Minute. For two reasons:
1) I had never seen it.
2) Jared Padalecki is in it.
"Is it my birthday?" BWAHAHAHAHA JAREEEEDDD! And with the goatee. How is that so hot? But. I kind of. Enjoyed it. In a non-ironic way. I mean, I didn't buy the aww!sisters moments, but other than that? It was quite entertaining. *facepalm* WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?!?!?
In other news, Jared may be engaged to Sandy, but Jeff Morgan just broke his engagement with his Weeds co-star chick. Jeff/Jensen porn? Anyone? Bueller?
Title: Sparkly Balloons! Eleventy!!1!
Summary: Jensen and Jared meet for the first time.
Author's Notes: ryo_girl on SPN Story Finders was looking for Jensen-and-Jared bonding fic, around the time that the boys first met. And she got no hits. And the plot-bunny clung to my leg and gave me the Big Sad Eyes of Doom. And then there was fic. No beta, cuz I'm a rebel like that. As far as I know, Jared does not have sequined pink flipflops, but I got a pair of them for a guy friend as a gag, and HE WEARS THEM. Like, IN PUBLIC. I don't know if he's trying psychological prank warfare or what. But that's where that came from.
Disclaimer: There's no overt slash, so this may have actually happened. I kind of doubt it, though. Either way, I make no profit.
Summary: End of the last day of shooting for Season Two.
Warnings: Enough saccharine sweetness to rot yo' teeth. Schedule a dental appointment after reading.
Author's Notes: This is a scene following the end of Part 19 for Near You Always. Y'know, if that was written yet. This scene just jumped into my head. That happens sometimes.
Beta: My darling officemate Luann! \o/ *smishes her like whoa* Even though she doesn't read HTML or J2 (she 'ships Ron/Hermoine. *shudder*), I press-ganged her into beta-ing this for me.
( clicky )
Anyway, while I was sick I had some ideas (for which I blame the fever). For some fic of the highly implausible AU kind. Ah, crackfic, how do I love thee, let me count the ways! Anyway, in no particular order, our nominees...
In the J2 category:
Jared and Jensen’s relationship from Harley and/or Sadie’s point of view.
The Picture of Dorian Grey horribly ripped off and redone (Oscar Wilde would roll over in his grave!) for Jared and Jensen. Well, sort of. The part where the protagonist (Jensen) is hauntingly beautiful and a freaky painting makes him immortal, yes. The part where he kills people, not so much.
Turning the insane Jared!muse wrongness of will you bite the hand that feeds? will you chew until it bleeds? into a ‘verse. The Closer ‘verse, to be exact. Where it would have angst and possibly even something resembling a plot. But really, mostly just porn.
Jensen as a physical therapist; Jared as an actor and his patient. Chris Kane sets them up, hilarity and porn ensue. I know you are looking all quizzical now. The part that makes it crack!fic? Jared has Chihuahuas named Peeka and Boo.
In the Wincest category:
Further installments in the Sam’s Sexual Fantasies Mental Multiplex subseries from the Vegas ‘verse. Possible entries include Dean A La Mode, Hot Vampire Dean, and Hot Mechanic Dean.
A Sam/Dean songfic series based on Zeppelin albums, using each song as inspiration/a chapter prompt and going through the albums in order.
An insane crossover fic with lots of bad puns, wherein it turns out that John Winchester’s father is Dr. Charles Emerson Winchester III (from the TV series M*A*S*H) and when John is badly injured on a hunting trip, the boys spend a year living in Boston with their grandfather, who doesn’t believe in the paranormal, and catches Sam and Dean in flagrante delicto.
In the Roswell, or ‘Polar’ category:
Animal crack!fic in which the characters are all housecats.
Amnesia!fic where one of the pod squad doesn’t remember they’re an alien (or in which Liz doesn’t remember that she has powers).
Classic drunken mistake fic, in which Liz and Michael get married in Vegas by accident (even though they’re underage according to Nevada law) and must stay married for some highly implausible reason.
So would anyone, like, read any of those? Anyone? Anyone? Bueller?
* * *
Moving on. Here’s the quote of the day:
Is an art, like everything else.
I do it exceptionally well.
I do it so it feels like hell.
* * *
One last thing. The Muse is taking me for a last hurrah this weekend, before my LOA is officially over and I have to continue my indentured servitude in hell (can you tell I *don't* love my job?). So I'll be writing a lot less (or possibly more-if we are stunningly unbusy I fully intend to do non-work-related stuff on my work computer, such as posting on LJ. What are they gonna do, fire me? *gigglesnort* I WISH! Besides, they have to catch me first). My recovery from the last hurrah may also delay new posts. Muse is dragging me to a rave. Possibly outdoors. With radioactive pteradactyl skeeters, drunken people falling into the lake, high people who think they ARE a lake, ear-splitting tooth-rattling loud electronic music, egomaniacal DJ's, overpriced water and no bathrooms.
It's going to be hellacious fun! :D
Okay, first of all, since when am I a home for wayward muses? Dammit, people, keep them leashed! I have one Muse (best friend, roommate, purveyor of inspiration, fashion consultant and occasional pain in my ass) and that's how I like it. All of a sudden there are muses gadding about who do not belong here. This new submissive-slightly-broken-Jensen-porn!
Title: turn off the sun pull the stars from the sky; the more i give to you the more i die
Rating: NC-17 for slashy goodness, bossy!Jared, bondage and angst.
Summary: Jensen's so pretty when he begs.
Disclaimer: Waiter? Reality check please? This is (probably) all a product of my sick, twisted imagination. On the off chance that Jensen and Jared have actually DONE any of this, I hope they took pictures. Lots and lots of pictures.
Author's Notes: This follows will you bite the hand that feeds? will you chew until it bleeds? but it's not like this um...trilogy(?) has any redeeming plot whatsoever and therefore needs to be read
Summary: Jared sees Jensen kissing someone else, and has something to say about it.
Rating: NC-17 for graphic, dark, "I'm gonna do you, right here, and you're gonna like it" sex, and excessive use of the word 'fuck' as a noun, verb, and adjective.
Disclaimer: Vancouver is just a ferry ride away. If I even suspected they were doing this, I would not be writing, I would be gawking. If I owned them, I would be filming it. Alas...