Or; Five Ways RL Has Beaten Me Up, Then Kicked Me While I Was Down

1. Swine Flu

2. Car Accident

3. Having to move...TWICE

4. Support one (1) cousin through rehab and assorted life-fixing aftermath (for alcohol)

5. Support one (1) cousin through rehab (post-brain damage, incurred due to drunken shenanigans; not the same cousin, because my family is AWESOME like that)

You want more? I got more!

So...I am still writing. Sort of. It's been mostly for pleasure (i.e. as an escape from the suckitude of RL) so I don't have anything finished, but I am still WRITING. And I really WILL complete everything I owe from help_haiti, I WILL REALLY, I AM SORRY FOR BEING A HORRIBLE PERSON WHO FAILS AT DEADLINES.
Was kidnapped by the Muse for an indeterminate amount of time. AGAIN. Here's an excerpt from our day...

Muse: *pokes baby* Make noises!
Me: She's not a toy.
Muse: That's what you think! *throws her in the air and makes airplane noises*
Me: *sigh* Give me that before you break it.
Muse: Here. While you're up, she needs a new diaper.
Me: Fuck.
Muse: No takebacks! You touched it last!
Me: I hate you.
Muse: *victory arms*
I know we all have a deep and abiding love for Google, okay? As we should. But if there was a lazy-little-bitch way to help save the environment (and your laptop battery), wouldja?

See Blackle.

See Blackle Search.

Search, Blackle, Search!

So basically, Blackle is a Google-powered search engine with a black background. Because sites with black backgrounds take less energy to display, if everyone who uses Google now used Blackle instead, it would save 8.3 MWh/day, globally. Just to put that in perspective for everybody, 8.3 MWh is enough energy to power 830 homes for a year.

Yes, really. A. YEAR.

Keep in mind that Blackle is not Google: it is Google-powered. There is no Blackle Maps, Blackle Image Search, Blackle Docs, or B-Mail. Sadly. It also doesn't do that predictive search thing, but I find that incredibly annoying and frankly I'm glad to have a search engine without it.

Come to Blackle with me, flist? PLEEEASE?
If you haven't tried Mystery Google, you're missing out. For the uninitiated; Mystery Google is a version of Google that, when you submit a search, gives you the results of the search submitted by the person before you. A lot of people submit a search such as 'dance like a taco' or 'call NPA-NXX-XXXX and sing us a song.' These same people apparently post their Mystery Google Mission results to MLIA. I think that's kind of awesome, and I'm sad that apparently a couple of people are ruining it for everybody else by using it for prank calls and/or random hookups.


Tonight on Mystery Google I was given a phone number and told to call and leave a message singing my favorite Britney Spears song. I'm from Canada, and the number was an Alabama area code. I called anyway, and sang 'Womanizer.' International call? 4 cents a minute. Random hysterical entertainment? Priceless.

This is the kind of thing I get up to when I spend time with the Muse and we run out of baby clothes to sort.
I have just been over here writing incestuous popslash. WHAT.

[livejournal.com profile] ashavahishta has CRUELLY ABANDONED ME THE INTERNET to go to a concert but she did leave me with some lovely prompts I need to finish. Quite a few. Because I am her commentfic bitch, apparently (she won me in a prison fight wank war). SO. Here is my to-do list for today.

1. Go to Starbucks. DONE.

1b. Purchase delicious latte. DONE.

2. Finish the following ficlets:

...Or Are You Just Happy To See Me? DONE.
Hush (Don't Say A Word) WATCH THIS SPACE.
Do Sexbots Dream Of Electric Sheep?
You Are Whatever A Moon Has Always Meant DONE.
all the times i've given in (you fit me like a second skin) SIX PARTS AND COUNTING. BREVITY FAIL.
Broken English 9
broken words, never meant to be spoken 5 4! IT IS 5! *EPIC* NUMERACY FAIL.

2b. Additionally, make a further dent in this year's [livejournal.com profile] spn_j2_bigbang, A Durable Fire, and that as-yet-untitled gypsy epic I am writing for [livejournal.com profile] rei_c. ETA: ahahahaha I am foolishly optimistic.

That's doable, right? RIGHT? GUYS??!?!
...or at least my library.

I haven't really been reading a lot of books in the past year or so (actual books, you know, with covers and stuff). I used to read constantly, often as many as ten books a week, but lately I've been into the fannish version of fiction. And apparently I've been spoiled, because these days when I pick up an actual published novel, even by an author I used to love...more often than not I'm disappointed.

The prose is flabby, the sex scenes are more yawn-worthy than moan-worthy, and either the characterization is inconsistent, or the characters exhibit a vomitous level of Mary-Sueishness...sometimes BOTH.

And we're talking BESTSELLING authors, here. I know there's a lot of dreck in fandom, but there's a lot of really incredible writing, too. I think I only realized how incredible when I tried to go back to reading novels, and couldn't enjoy them like I used to. My quality standards are high; and apparently Nora Roberts, Mary Higgins Clark, et al just can't live up to the likes of [livejournal.com profile] dira_sudis and [livejournal.com profile] felisblanco.

P.S. Do not even get me started on S. Meyer or Laurell K. Hamilton. Seriously. I WILL SPORK OUT MY EYES.
...and saw a mention of The 10th Kingdom as an interest. And my brain immediately went, 10th Kingdom Fusion AU! (As it does.) Would anyone, like, want to write that? Anyone? Bueller? *crickets chirping* Oh, fine. I hate you all.

[Poll #1472293]
These soups are both vegetarian and gluten-free. Soup #1 is vegan, and soup #2 is vegan if you leave out the cheese. They're also cheap (always a bonus in this economy), easy to make, and take advantage of fresh fall veggies, which are oft-ignored and maligned, and should be from local growers at your grocery store this time of year. Or, since a grocery store is not the only or even the best place to buy veggies, you might want to check out your local farmer's market or something.

...and I think my ears are bleeding.
So I just spent the night/morning talking my mother off a metaphorical ledge. And since apparently I am biased, I need your opinions. If, theoretically, a mother could have a long, involved, philosophical discussion about whether or not they are a bad parent with their ADULT child, and the adult child does not scream at them or whimper and run to the nearest therapist, the mother is probably NOT a bad parent, y/n?

My mother seems to think that because she isn't rich and able to give me my every material desire, hasn't been the first perfect person in the history of the universe and therefore set a flawless example, and I'm not featured in Forbes and/or deliriously happy with my life, she has somehow failed. I tell her that the fact that we have a strong relationship and I can talk to her about losing my virginity, stupid teenage experimental drug use, stalker ex-boyfriends, how hard it is to resist the urge to be mean and vindictive to someone who probably deserves it, and other life crises is more important than said Forbes feature/delirious happiness. She says I'm biased.


Help me convince her that she is suffering from a severe case of Unecessary Overachiever.

[Poll #1459987]
I have been nominated for two awards over at [livejournal.com profile] hc_fanficawards! 'Best Fluff' for Awful Nice, and 'Best Short Romance' for Thistles. Thank you [livejournal.com profile] athousandsmiles!

Gorgey banner by [livejournal.com profile] vicodin_martini.
I was looking something up on Wikipedia yesterday, as you do...and somehow I lost three hours of my LIFE. How I got from 'Bora Bora' to learning about genetics and evolution, I could not tell you. But something interesting that I found...

The Green Beard Effect. Dean is like Green Beard Altruism PERSONIFIED. Ensuring that his family continues to live (and therefore procreate) AT THE EXPENSE OF HIS OWN LINE CONTINUING. This smells vaguely like a story idea. I will have to let the knowledge percolate.
The morning after partying is very boring if you don't get hangovers. Not that I would prefer the alternative! It's just, everyone else is sleeping, or moaning in pain and having morning-after regrets...and I'm awake and want to, like, do stuff! And the only one who's down with that is the baby.

Which is, obviously, why the Muse got me to spend the night...so she can have her hangover in peace. LOL.
I'm starting a meme, flist! Tell me about what brightens your day. Here's mine in no particular order...

1. [livejournal.com profile] misskittye. She's adorable and awesome. Go worship her.

2. The dirty filthy awesomeness of Nautibitz's Fic.

3. Homemade guacamole.

4. Red wine and cigarettes on a just-the-right-temperature August night. Vices, mmmm.

5. My parents. Often seen in conjunction with #4.

6. Chuzzle.

7. The Beatles.

8. Living on the ocean in one of the most beautiful countries in the world. Oh Canada, I could not love you any more than I do!

9. someecards.

10. Nevil Shute's A Town Like Alice. I could read this book over and over again!


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