shovels and rakes and implements of destruction

Title: The Bird Phoenix

Summary: Brendon has a...condition. With feathers. And Spencer is too nosy for his own good, and also stealthy like a ninja. Except not. And Hans Christien Andersen is a prick who didn't get the details right. Or maybe no one told him. And Jon and Ryan are stoner boyfrands in luuurrrve.

Pairing: Spencer/Brendon (OTP, I can haz it?) with background Jon/Ryan.

Rating: NC-17

Word Count: ~6000

Disclaimer: HAAAAAAAAA. This bears no resemblance to reality. Gabe Saporta, if you're reading this (we KNOW you drink the Kool-Aid read the fanfiction, kay?) it is crazy enough to be appropriate for Cobra Starship storytime, but please don't send a link to Panic. Knowing just how batshit insane their fans are would probably make them sad. Or make them take out a restraining order. And on that note, don't sue me unless you want an antisocial Manx cat, a collection of Happy Bunny merchandise, and 87 pairs of shoes.

Warnings: may contain drug use, wings (not the edible kind), misuse of children's fairy tales, made up Egyptian legends, scientifically improbable so-called 'facts,' bad puns, faily boys, insecure!Spencer, coming in pants, run-on sentences, extraneous commas, abuse of ellipses and italic text, everything but the kitchen sink, a kitchen sink, and possible probable insanity on the part of the author. DON'T COME CRYING TO ME THAT IT WAS RIDICULOUS. YOU WERE WARNED.

Author's Notes: IDEK, guys. I'm originally from the SPN fandom, where wings are canon (OMG HAI CASS!). Can that be my excuse? I would be sorrier for this, and probably would not have inflicted it on you, if there was more Spencer/Brendon out there, but I've only been in this fandom for a few weeks and I think I've already read it ALL, so. Um. Here? *ducks and runs*

( Seriously. How is this his life? )