I NEED YOUR OPINION, FLIST!

[mass_hipgnosis]

So I just spent the night/morning talking my mother off a metaphorical ledge. And since apparently I am biased, I need your opinions. If, theoretically, a mother could have a long, involved, philosophical discussion about whether or not they are a bad parent with their ADULT child, and the adult child does not scream at them or whimper and run to the nearest therapist, the mother is probably NOT a bad parent, y/n?

My mother seems to think that because she isn't rich and able to give me my every material desire, hasn't been the first perfect person in the history of the universe and therefore set a flawless example, and I'm not featured in Forbes and/or deliriously happy with my life, she has somehow failed. I tell her that the fact that we have a strong relationship and I can talk to her about losing my virginity, stupid teenage experimental drug use, stalker ex-boyfriends, how hard it is to resist the urge to be mean and vindictive to someone who probably deserves it, and other life crises is more important than said Forbes feature/delirious happiness. She says I'm biased.

SO. OUTSIDE OPINION TIME.

Help me convince her that she is suffering from a severe case of Unecessary Overachiever.

[Poll #1459987]

Comments

[bard2003.livejournal.com]

how is it that that all parents are the same? my mother died when i was 13, my father raised me. i am 40 this year and he blames himself that i am barren, divorcee, didn`t finished degree and don`t have a house of my own (how exactly can he be responsible for a god`s will, don`t know but somehow he thinks he is!)

:(

[kathickers.livejournal.com]

Well, my mom won't speak to her dad, and I will barely speak to mine, but she and I have a great reltionship. We can talk about anything, like you and your mom. I'd call raising a kid that you can have a real relationship with--talking like equals and involved in each other's lives (instead of silent loathing) is a win. Your mom sounds great. That's my 2 cents,anyway! :D

[huntress69.livejournal.com]

I can't answer this with a yes or no. My Mom does have money, and she gives it, but to get financial help I pretty much have to give away little pieces of my soul each time I ask. According to her, I am miserable because I don't have a steady man in my life. My kids are good and straight-A students because they were born that way, I had nothing to do with it, even though I have raised them on my own since they were 3/9 (now 15/21). I really can't talk to her about much personally because she is always right LOL. My things is, yours, like mine, will never change, don't worry if she is good or bad. She raised you, you turned out okay, and that is all that matters.

[hunters-retreat.livejournal.com]

If my daughter or son and I can continue to be that close when they're older, i'll consider myself the best parent in the world :P You can't do everything right and you can't make your children's lives perfect. Will we try? of course. Will we consider ourselves a failure if we don't? Every fricking time something makes my babies cry or sad or just generally unhappy. Does it make me a bad parent? No. It makes me a parent in the real world :P

[bloodquartz.livejournal.com]

To me, any mother who loves you, who is there for you and who tries to do their best - is a wonderful mother.

[realpestilence.livejournal.com]

You love her *and* you like her (which is something entirly different and doesn't necessarily follow). You obviously trust her. She seems to treat you like a person with a brain and the right to make decisions. She obviously loves you and worries about you. :)

That's a good mom, good daughter relationship. *hugs your mom*

[fpvs.livejournal.com]

The fact that she CARES about whether she IS (not "was") a bad parent is pretty indicative that she is NOT a bad parent, imo.

[mutelorelei.livejournal.com]

Biased? What? I would say you are one of the best judges. Not too many people out there shy about saying they had a crap parent/shitty childhood/etc, or at least partially admit it, so if you think she's a good parent, she probably is. And they aren't any perfect parents out there, maybe she doesn't realize ;)